Embracing In-Between
How lovely it is to bloom and blossom and grow towards the light.
But what does it take to get there? It is not all easy and full of color, but a balance of darkness and light.
Three and a half years ago, I had a near death experience. It was a catalyst for all the change to come and essentially, set the foundation of the deep roots, so I could grow up and grow out. To know me is to know that I am a deep thinker. I am not a puddle, but the ocean.
Each year on the anniversary of the near-death experience, I spend time down south. I have always chosen to go alone, as there is a lot of processing and honoring of myself that takes place. This past year, it felt different before I had even embarked on the journey. When I arrived, the usual sunshine and warm weather was replaced with clouds and colder temps. I was there to work and reflect, versus distracting myself with play. I spent time on the anniversary sitting on the beach. The beach where for the past two years was filled with people, but on that day, it was barren of many souls. I watched the waves, which were also much wilder. I have spent so much time in therapy; all I can think about is “ride the wave” as a coping skill when feelings or thoughts are intense. This made me come to the realization that even though the waves of the ocean may get big and the clouds may come, the ocean is still cherished and enjoyed. People will come when it is sunny and the waters are smooth, but only few stay out when temperatures drop and those waves become stronger.
I came home from this trip with a new perspective – stop playing it safe. A week after returning home from this trip, I quit a job I so loved and enjoyed, but the environment felt restricting. Why do we stay in places that “seem” safe and comfortable, but have outgrown?
If you are in the midst of making a decision or are in between jobs or relationships, I encourage you to take time to quietly reflect on the following: Does this person or place inspire me? Do I feel supported, valued and safe? Are my dreams and desires for my future in alignment with this person or place or am I choosing to limit myself?
Embrace each step forward, knowing it adds value to your unique journey. Sometimes the space is dark, full of grief and other times it feels freeing. Embrace all that is you and all that your heart desires. Take the chance. Be bold in creating a life you actively are engaged with
